How I tricked myself into consistency that feels effortless

without becoming a 5am gym girl or downloading another habit tracker

If you’ve ever felt like a mess in a world obsessed with morning routines and bulletproof habits, I hope this reminds you that you are not broken! Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and just know I’m cheering you on every small, sacred step of the way♡

There’s this one journal I’ve had since 2016.

Still. Not. Finished. Like, ma’am… it’s been nearly a decade.

It’s a little over half full and a time capsule of all my inner chaos. I’m talking crushes, heartbreaks, late night spirals, notes to future me, existential rambles, and at least one very dramatic entry that says “I’m gonna get my life together starting tomorrow” in all caps.

A literary masterpiece, honestly.

For years, the unfinished pages haunted me. They were proof, at least I thought, that I just couldn’t stick with anything. It was yet another thing that made me feel I wasn’t consistent enough. I couldn’t finish a journal to save my life, let alone my routine or projects or goals. Meanwhile, the internet was flooded with color-coded notion templates, waking up at 4:44am to ice roll their faces, and manifesting 10k months.

And I took it personally. Like, maybe I was just inherently broken, too chaotic, too emotional, not structured enough. Looking back, I know I wasn’t flawed I just hadn’t found the rhythm that respected me.

I wanted ease. I craved it. I used to daydream about gliding through my day like some effortlessly put together pinterest girlie — the kind who wakes up flawless, takes ginger shots without gagging, and takes their supplements without a small internal crisis. But every productivity tip I came across felt like they were made for someone else’s brain. Definitely someone with less anxiety.

So, I gave myself permission to burn it all down. I quit trying to copy routines that didn’t honor me. The rigid schedules, the hustle culture, the shame spirals disguised as motivation. If consistency was going to happen, it had to feel like devotion, not punishment; it had to feel like me. That’s when things started to click. I stopped waiting for Monday or a new month. I stopped waiting to feel “ready.” I just decided: This is how I show up now. Full delulu if necessary.

Because if I could always find a reason to delay my dreams, I could definitely find one reason to just start.

Thee mindset trick that actually helped

I stopped trying to “act like my higher self” — it always felt vague and way too far away. So instead, I started dragging my past self like her big sister in a new tough love era.

“She would’ve spiraled for hours over this,” I’d say casually (while doing the opposite).

“But I’m not like that anymore.”

Third person narrative is honestly free therapy. Highly recommend.

Consistency started to look like self respect, not control. It wasn’t about hustling more or forcing myself to check 99 boxes before breakfast. It was about loving myself enough to honor the vision I have for my life, even when I’d rather hide under the covers.

And yes… self discipline does make you hotter. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. There’s just something magnetic about knowing you can depend on yourself.

But here’s the thing, if you’re in a season where consistency feels impossible, you’re not broken. You’re just trying to force a rhythm that doesn’t belong to you.

When I stopped thinking of consistency as discipline and started seeing it as devotion, I finally felt like I could breathe! It became about trust, not tracking. About showing up because I love where I’m going, not because I hate where I am.

But you can’t build devotion without knowing your why. Why do you want to be consistent? Why do you want to write the book, or drink more water, or clean your damn closet? Why do you want to become that version of you you can feel tugging at your soul?

Because your why is what carries you when the dopamine dies. It’s what makes you resilient when the path gets messy or slow or unexpected (and it always does). For me, everything shifted when I stopped trying to fix myself and just… built a system I could actually stand. Enter: the 444 Method (aka how I tricked my chaotic little brain into consistency that feels effortless)

The 444 method: My secret sauce for soft consistency

✿ 4 Non-negotiables

Mindset. Nervous system care. Embodiment. Self kindness.

These are my personal anchors. I also keep a menu of options for each depending on my energy — because nobody wakes up in the same mood every day.

✿ 4 Focus points

These are my intentions for the day. Not a 50-item to do list. Just 4 gentle focuses. I keep this short & simple, but if I write down something too overwhelming? I break it into micro tasks so laughably small it feels like a joke.

✿ 4 Self maintenance moments

Skincare. Water. Tidy one corner. Rewatch my comfort shows like it’s my job — because healing is hard and Lorelai Gilmore gets me. These are the little things that keep life feeling cozy and not like a dumpster fire.

And that’s it! No 5am alarms. No shame spirals. Just a soft rhythm that moves with my cycle, energy, and literal circus that is life with 3 kids and a small business.

Weirdly, once I stopped trying so hard to be someone else, I started embodying the version of me I was always meant to become. I learned consistency doesn’t come from a habit tracker, it comes from building a life that feels like home.

Let your routines serve you, not shame you. Make them weird. Make them sacred. Make them soft and sustainable. Make them yours.

And if you’re someone who starts off strong and goes downhill quickly (hello, samesies), remember this: it’s never about starting perfectly. It’s all about building the identity of someone who finishes. Who shows up. Who trusts herself.

So no, I still haven’t finished that journal from 2016. But now, when I open it I don’t see failure or shame, I’m fascinated. It’s oddly poetic to hold years of your becoming right in the palm of your hands. I see proof of evolution, of showing up over and over again even when it was chaotic. Even when it absolutely didn’t look the way I thought it would.

You don’t need a new app or become a productivity robot.

You don’t need to earn rest or joy or confidence.

Just trust that you’re worth showing up for — again, and again, and again.

And maybe, someday soon, you’ll flip through your own pages (literal or metaphorical) and realize you became everything you once thought you couldn’t be. One tiny step at a time.

Stay hot, always❤️‍🔥

Robin

The Elevated It Girl

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